What "NOT" to expect from your family law attorney

Gainesville, Florida

By Randi Dincher

Going through a divorce often leaves folks angry, in grief and filled with mixed emotions. It is a time of intense stress. I find often times clients look to me for answers, and to fix or punish the other party for hurtful conduct.

Given my many years of experience, I do have a wealth of information. Often my answers are complicated. Generally, "yes/ no" answers are not possible because the judge ultimately decides when parties can not reach an agreement. I can not give clients a guarantee of the outcome.

Another thing that happens when clients inquire on the expected outcome of their case, I often have only incomplete information. Often, additional controlling information is revealed as the case progresses.

It is important to understand that Florida has a no-fault divorce code, so the court is not there to provide punishment and has no interest in marital wrongdoing. For example, marital property and debts are generally divided equally. Issues of custody are determined based upon the best interest of the children.

In processing a petition for dissolution, other entities are involved which may cause delays. For example, the court calendar dictates the scheduling of hearings and conferences. The judge's schedule and that of other attorneys dictate when matters can be heard. Because multiple individuals are involved, problems with scheduling are common.

Another matter which I can not control is sheriff's service. After a petition for dissolution is filed, it must be served by the sheriff's office. In general, I find the sheriff's office fulfills this role responsibly. Unfortunately, the sheriff's office does not work for me. They serve when it accommodates their office. Sometimes service is early in the morning or late at night. Further, there are times that an opposing party avoids service. Should this occur, a motion must be filed for court permission for a process server.

Like most divorce lawyers, I am not a tax attorney. While I have some insight to the general affects of the tax code, I refer clients to an accountant or an attorney who does tax work when complex tax and financial questions arise.

I am not a social worker or family therapist. I am an attorney at law and find I best fill that capacity by maintaining a degree of objectivity. At times clients become oppositional to the things I say. At times parties are bound to orders that have provisions which do not seem to make sense. However, I must always instruct clients to follow the orders, whether they like it or not.

During this difficult time there are things people can do that may assist them in managing their stress. I find clients with a supportive network of family and friends best handle divorce. Seeing a counselor during this period may also help. Exercise may help. I do advise client's to avoid creating more problems for themselves by drinking to excess and saying inappropriate things in the presence of their children or other people. Folks may say or do something which may be brought up later in the court proceeding that is embarrassing or discredits them.

A key thought during your divorce is this: be kind to yourself during this difficult time.